Friday, January 02, 2015

Take courage, do not be afraid

Happy new year to everyone!

I'm thankful for the past year. I graduated from law school, took the bar exam, and visited my brother in the United States. I'm proud that I was able to submit a research paper and not postpone it until forever. I'm also grateful that I talked sincerely to my family about problems (dating, marriage, and children) that I have been thinking about in the past but didn't talk about because of law school.

I'm writing now because I watched Mike and Molly and the writer played by Susan Sarandon said: "Write about the things that you don't want people to know." It means that we should be able to face our fears and be brave when we write. For me, there are many things that I do not want people to know because I do not want to bring shame to myself and to my family.

The things that I do not want people to know are my depression during college, my polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS), and the abandonment of my father of our family. But I am saying these things here to face my fears. As Elsa sings in Frozen, let it go.

Maybe what seems shameful may not actually be so. My story may even be what is interesting or different about me. In fact, I may even realize that what happened to me is something that other people could learn from so I can even help them by writing about my experience.

I am now resolving that I will write often. Even if the post is just one sentence or it sounds bad, I should still write. I have to make mistakes to learn. My story is not shameful. I try to live as honestly, as kindly, and as best as I could.

In all other things, I will make an effort. Get out of bed when I wake up. Make the 7-minute exercise. Read another law. Digest another case. Greet people. Sit up straight. Show up for the invitation.  Pray when I remember. Stop using the internet when everyone is asleep.

So help me God.

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