Wednesday, February 06, 2013

How to stop thinking about sex

I normally don't think about sex. First, I'm a girl. I don't have wet dreams every night. Second, I'm a law student. I have laws and cases to read and recitations to be scared of.

But lately, I have been imagining and dreaming about sex and marriage. It's like I suddenly had sex hormones and have become a normal person. I started downloading free romance books on Kindle on Monday. Then I read the novel Dracula and had to watch Bram Stoker's Dracula on Youtube on Tuesday. Today I finished reading a romance book about a rich man marrying a woman he got pregnant after he learned that they had twins. Then I fantasized about sex while I was in the shower after reading a questionnaire about getting married.

It's fun to think about sex but it feels like I'm a different person. So I'm thinking of the possible causes of this anomaly. First, it's most likely a biological urge because I will become 30 soon. My body wants to have babies before it's too late.

Second, I have been getting more sleep because I sleep before midnight now. On Sunday, I slept early because I was already tired. My room mate sleeps earlier than me so I usually go to bed by 11 pm now. Being well rested makes people hornier apparently.

Third, I was one week late in taking my medicine. I take Althea, an oral contraceptive, because I have polycystic ovaries. Maybe when I took a two week break in my medicine, I got enough sex hormones to think sbout sex.

Fourth, I have not been drinking chocolate every morning. I just drink chocolate when I still feel sleepy. Since I sleep more now, I do not have to drink chocolate daily. I still eat chocolate cookies, wafers, and cupcakes. Chocolate is said to be a good substitute for sex. With less chocolate in my blood, maybe I'm substituting this lack with more thoughts of sex.

Fifth, maybe it's caused by the dead people in campus. No, I don't see dead people. We're just confronted with our own mortality. So we want to be happy and have our own children before we leave this world.

So how will I stop this? Maybe I should study more and scare myself with thoughts of recitations and exams. Or I can think about all the rape and sexual harassment cases I have read and wanted to kill the accused. Or maybe I can just let these thoughts come and go. After all, sex is fleeting until it makes you pregnant.

PS. I'm retaining this post verbatim because this is funny and shows me that I am human.

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